Over-the-Top Anger

Have you ever witnessed someone get extremely angry over something that seemed trivial?  Anger that’s expressed at a level 10, but the issue is only a 2.  I remember driving in downtown Toronto many years ago with my boss on a way to a client appointment.  Some guy in the next lane was honking his car horn, turning red in the face, banging on his steering wheel and yelling curse words at the driver in front of him.  My boss sighed and calmly said, “What a shame that man lives with his anger so close to the surface that he reacts that way to something he can’t control”.  That stuck with me.

Angry woman yelling and pointing fingers at someone
Over-the-top anger

This was back in the 1990s when call centres were emerging. With degrees in psychology and business, my boss started a consulting firm that focused on teaching high level sales and customer service over the phone.  One of our tools was a communication model that included various stress reactions and how to deal with them.  Because I had to teach it, I needed to become an expert in recognizing and dealing with stress reactions.  For our purposes, it was only necessary to counter the behaviour with response to effectively handle a customer.  But of course, I wanted to know more about why people behave in this manner and what could be done to alleviate their stress.

What I discovered through those years was that in most situations the root cause of the stress and resulting anger was some unresolved issue that, in some cases, had little to nothing to do with the situation at hand.  Sometimes there was a connection, sometimes there wasn’t.  For example, that angry driver in Toronto could have been late for an appointment, or had an argument with his wife, or perhaps the bank had just turned down a loan application.  But the driver in front of him was not the cause of his emotional explosion.

Problems arise every day in normal life.  If we don’t solve them, human nature (especially for overthinkers) will steer us toward replaying the scenario repeatedly.  “What could I have done differently?” “Why does she treat me like that?” “Next time I see him I’m going to give him a piece of my mind!” This persistent worry consumes our mental and emotional energy.  It can get in the way of relationships, prey on one’s mind, prevent sleep and spill over into everyday life.  It’s unhealthy.

Some people try to bury the unresolved issue, thinking they’ll “let it go” or “get over it” and “move on”.  This rarely works well.  In my experience, I’ve seen unresolved issues resurface years later, and typically not in ways one would expect.  Go back and try to resolve the issue.  Communicate with other parties involved.  Ask for or give forgiveness.  If that’s not possible, talk to a therapist, counsellor, pastor, rabi, priest, a friend.

We’re all on a journey and learning along the way.  Some of us learn early and some learn later in life.  I was lucky to have some great mentors.  Not everyone has had that opportunity.  The best advice is to get angry about the things that matter – not things that happened in the past.  Life is so much easier when one has learned to live in the present and future.

Peace

On Letting Go ‘revived’

I came across this blog from 7 years ago today. I still think so many people carry unresolved issues around with them that affect their behaviour. More about that soon, but for now, here’s a refresher thought.

On Letting Go

Unsung Heroes

Horrible storms have been playing havoc in the last several weeks all over North America. Thankfully, most of the snow and rain has somehow overlooked our little safe haven in Southern Ontario, but we have been hit by high winds. Over the weekend, wind gusts over 110km (about 70 miles an hour) damaged a 40-foot tree in the backyard two houses south of us. The tree took out power lines from the power pole to one house.

Three power company trucks were there within minutes of the call. They turned the power off for one side of the street at 8:00 p.m. so they could chop down the tree. Under their powerful lights, we watched in the dark as they perilously chopped branches from the bucket in dangerous winds. They worked for hours. They worked hard. Then at about 10:30 they left. Still no power. I called power company, who explained the crew had worked for 16 hours and had to stop, but a new crew would be out soon to restore power. And they did. The power came back on at about 12:30 a.m.

We don’t often think of the men and women who work hard to keep our lights, heat, fridges and freezers running. And we certainly don’t often realize the dangers they face. I spent most of my life working in an office and have never given much thought to the men and women who keep our systems running. It’s not just hydro workers – it’s electricians, plumbers, road workers, snow removal people, builders, carpenters, heating ventilation and air conditioning, concrete workers.

Especially considering climate change, we will need these people more than ever. Thank you to all who work to keep our lives functional. Kudos to the hydro workers and all the teams in the various trades! We appreciate you.

The Honourable Rosalie Silberman Abella

Canada has their own RBG. In fact, Ruth Bader Ginsburg referred to Rosalie Silberman Abella as her ‘dearest sister-in-law’. While their careers and accomplishments mirror each other, in my opinion, the latter had a greater effect on their country’s laws. On this International Women’s Day, I wonder why the world, particularly women’s rights followers and activists, know of Ginsburg but not so many of Abella.

Canada’s population is only about 12% of the United States. More people generate more money, more business, more news stations, more international media coverage, and thus celebrity. Plus, there are many differences between the Canadian and American Supreme Courts. First, the Supreme Court of Canada (SCC) presides over all legal matters in Canada – federal, provincial and private – whereas because the United States has two separate legal systems, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) deals with constitutional and federal law. Second, while appointment, tenure and other issues are different; the main difference from the outside looking in is how political SCOTUS and that’s likely the main reason there’s more media coverage. The Supreme Court of Canada is more low-profile. Sigh. Just like Canadians!

Credit: Veasey Conway/Harvard Staff Photographer

Back to the Honourable Rosalie Silberman Abella and paying homage to her on this International Women’s Day. I first became aware of this amazing woman by watching a documentary a couple of years ago. I was enthralled by her personality. She is charming, witty, warm and natural. I loved her relationship with her husband. I was impressed by the barriers she broke through. And, I wanted to be her friend. Learning more about her, I can honestly say she is one of my very few heroes.

With her parents surviving the Holocaust, Rosalie Silberman was born in a Displaced Persons Camp in Germany in 1946. Her father was a lawyer, but because her family were refugees to Canada in 1950 and therefore not a citizen, he wasn’t permitted to practice law; so at a very early age, Rosalie vowed to become a lawyer. At age 29, she was the youngest judge in Canada, the first Jewish woman and first pregnant woman to be appointed to the judiciary. She was a member of SCC from 2004 through 2021 when she turned 75 years of age.

The impact on Canadian law to which I referred earlier? In 1984, she spearheaded the Royal Commission on Equality in Employment. In that report, she introduced the term “employment equity”, developing a strategy for reducing barriers confronting women, minorities, people with disabilities, and Indigenous people. The report created the groundwork for equality rights in Canada. In 1989, The Supreme Court of Canada adopted her theories concerning equality and discrimination in its first case on equality rights under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. She influenced the Canadian Chart regarding equal rights and human rights, including extending benefits to same-sex couples. Ms. Abella was and is a trailblazer!

On December 31, 2025, Abella was awarded the Companion of the Order of Canada, the highest level of recognition for outstanding achievement. She is currently a visiting Professor of Law at Harvard Law School and Senior Research Scholar at Yale Law School.

On this International Women’s Day, I hope that little girls all over the world will learn about this woman. No glass ceilings for this champion!

‘No More’ Isn’t Enough!

This week is “No More Week” from March 2 through 8 ending to coincide with International Women’s Day. While “No More” began about male violence about women, it is about shedding a light on domestic abuse and sexual violence.

It’s been almost 12 years since I left my abuser of 22 years. Twenty-two years? you say. At first the abuse was minor controlling behaviours that appeared after several years of marriage. I didn’t notice it at first. Then I wrote it off as side effects of mental illness. For years I was unaware that the criticism and control crept slowly into how I spoke and dressed and finally into who I spent time with and eventually finances. None of it was physical until one violent night – and that was the last night I spent with my abuser.

Domestic violence had never been on my radar. My circle of friends never spoke of it, and I didn’t know anyone who had been abused. Until 12 years ago, I thought domestic abuse/violence was something that occurred in troubled social settings: low income families, people with a drug history, etc. Never did it occur to me that it might also be common in the working, middle or upper classes. A working professional and daughter of an architect, and stepmom to three wonderful young men, I never considered our family dysfunctional. I was too busy to pay attention. Today, still ashamed of my prior ‘blind eye’, I am keenly aware. It’s like I have supercharged antennae that sense any male controlling behaviour.

Misogyny is running rampant in the world and it has to stop. Women are no closer to being equal than they were 50 years ago. As a retired professional, I can remember being interrupted by males in a meeting where I was on the same level or even senior to the male. I’ve witnessed ‘mansplaining’. There is still a gender pay gap. These are business examples. Worldwide we are no closer to ending male dominance. Women are not treated as equal. Male dominance has led to girls and women being horribly abused as in continued female genital mutilation and human trafficking. There is some awareness but not enough.

Kudos to a young man named Logan. Everyone has heard about the Epstein catastrophe, but not many outside of Canada have heard of The Guelph Incident that occurred last week in a coffee shop in Guelph, Ontario. Logan saw a man and a young girl and he thought something was fishy. He approached the man, Jonathan Puddle, and asked what his relationship was to the young lady who (to Logan) seemed apprehensive. Jonathan replied that she was his daughter. Logan wasn’t convinced, so he called the police, who posted the pair’s picture online asking for information. After seeing their picture on social media, Jonathan contacted the police. Turns out this was a father/daughter couple and daughter Emmi was just shy and didn’t even hear what Logan had asked. Jonathan explained that he was pleased that if this had indeed been a human trafficking situation that someone was brave and forward enough to act. We need more Logans.

This isn’t a political piece, but I am compelled to remark on the shameful behaviour of Donald Trump. He has demonstrated his dislike, disrespect of women over and over again. The first time I recognized it was during the second Presidential Debate in 2016: the manner in which Trump circled around Hilary Clinton and the expression on his face while she was speaking made my flesh crawl. From that day, until his recent calling a reporter “Piggy” and his lame locker room talk with the male Olympic Hockey Team he has consistently shown his true colours. I find it difficult to understand how any woman could align herself with a sexist. He is a blatant chauvinist pig.

Several years ago, experts tied the connection between domestic violence and adult mass shooters. In Canada, the two most deadly mass attacks – 1989 Ecole Polytechnique Massacre in Montreal and the 2020 Nova Scotia Shootings – both shooters had domestic violence in their backgrounds. In the United States, James Densley and Jillian Peterson, founders of the Violence Prevention Project have studied mass shootings for 10 years and on the recent piece on 60 Minutes say the commonality of school shootings is the background of domestic violence.

“No More’ isn’t enough! The No More Ads should be on television and social media more frequently. We should all be like Guelph’s Logan who saw something and acted. We don’t have to interject like he did, but we can observe and report suspicious activity. We can contact our local schools and ask what mental health support they have in place. We can contact our local support groups and ask how to help.

Olympic Afterthoughts

Canadian flag-bearers Mikaël Kingsbury and Marielle Thompson lead Team Canada into the opening ceremonies to officially start the Milano Cortina 2026 Olympic Winter Games in Italy on Friday, February 06, 2026. Photo by Mark Blinch/COC *MANDATORY CREDIT*

It’s over for another 4 years. The Milano Cortina Olympic Games 2026 were wonderful to watch and I can only imagine how participants feel. Canada is proud of all our athletes and those who support them.

No matter how one looks at it, Norway comes out on top. Congratulations to Norway! Whether it’s gold medals or medals per capita, Canada ranks 11th, but if one looks at medals for total medals, Canada ranked 8th – not too shabby. I think per capita, however, is key. The pool from which the country has to draw talent, the available money to support the athletes, the facilities available in the athletes can train, and so much more affects the final Olympic Team. So special congratulations to most countries in Europe for ranking in the top 10 on the per capita list: Norway, Switzerland, Austria, Slovenia, Sweden, Netherlands, Latvia, Finland, Estonia, and New Zealand. Where did the United States rank in the list of medals per capita? 23rd – Yup. No comment.

Another perspective from which to view the medal winners (and I’ll admit I just learned this from my research) is the payouts some athletes receive from their representative countries for winning a gold medal. Apparently, Italy will pay out $7,757,000, $213,000 to each gold medalist; United States $3,022,500, $37,500 to each; Switzerland $1,512,000, $64,000 to each; and Poland $1,238,000, $355,000 to each. Who knew? Apparently Canada also pays gold medal winners: $915,000, $15,000 to each. In Canada there’s a push for the government to better support the up and coming athletes in future. I would rather see the pre-Olympic support than the post-Olympic reward. Wouldn’t that be more in the Olympic spirit?

The Olympic spirit is all about solidarity and fair play. One of the key drivers is to build a better world through friendship and peace. Ideally, the Olympics would be apolitical, but historically with world bad actors that just isn’t possible. I thought the following perfectly depicted how the world felt last weekend:

Screenshot

I’m not going to criticize the officiating or whine about missed opportunities. I will, however, give kudos to Conner Kellebuyck who miraculously fended of 41 shots on goal. It was amazing! However, for Felon Trump to award a hockey player the Presidential Medal of Freedom was a shocker. Really? I’ve understood past rationale for people like Simone Biles who was an outspoken activist in her sport as well as an accomplished athlete, but this didn’t hit the mark for me.

I am more impressed with the 5 members of the U.S. hockey team and the entire women’s hockey team who refused to attend the State of the Union Address last night. Your actions speak loudly across the world. Congratulations.

All Canadian athletes can stand proudly.

Jesse Ventura Pulls No Punches

Before this morning, if you’d asked me who Jesse Ventura was, I would have responded, “I think he used to be a wrestler”. I guess that shows my age as well as the fact that until recently I really didn’t pay much attention to American politics. Today, however, he caught my attention on CBC’s the Rosemary Barton Live show.

Ventura was invited to the show to follow up on his call that Minnesota should join Canada! Admitting his comment was partially tongue-in-cheek, he says that he’s even thought of a name for the new province: “Minni-toba” (combining Minnesota and Manitoba) and added, “We’d get free health care!” He went on to blame the American people for the current predicament stating, “The last election was simple. You had the choice of the constitution or the criminal and for some reason they took the criminal. So they shouldn’t be surprised at what they’re getting.”

With both parents having been World War II veterans and himself a Navy Seal serving in Vietnam, Ventura pulled no punches on his opinion of Donald Trump referring to him as a “draft-dodging coward”. He says Trump wants to be a fascist dictator and his people are the Gestapo.

Jesse Ventura ran to be Governor of Minnesota under the Reform Party (remember Ross Perot?), then supported the Green Party and endorsed Kamala Harris for president in the last election. When asked this morning if he was considering re-entry into the political arena and running for Governor to which he replied, “I’m having that consideration and other considerations” and further explained that with current Senator Amy Klobuchar announcing that she will be running for Governor, somebody’s got to run for Senator and “wouldn’t that put me at eye-to-eye with him?”

While he never outright stated that he would be running for the U.S. Senate, Ventura did say “it won’t be serious until you see the beard cut”. So, Minnesotans, you’ve got someone else fighting in your corner. And, he says he’s still got a little wrestler left in him. Canada’s in your corner!

Perhaps a more centralist politician is what the U.S. needs right now. Here’s hoping we soon see a clean-shaven Jesse Ventura!

Trump: Gone too far or too far gone?

Amidst rumors of stroke, dementia and general mental decline, the President of the United States is demonstrating behaviors of a mentally and emotionally imbalanced person lashing out at anyone he feels has been personally offensive. This is his rationale for outrageous, disrespectful comments about NATO and leaders of Canada and European countries.

Trump’s latest affront regarding NATO troops in the Afghanistan War staying “a little back, a little off the front lines” has many insulted – and rightly so. Tell that to the families of over 1,000 non-American soldiers who died answering the United States’ call to arms after 911 to fight the Taliban.

Aside from numerous Canadian Red Cross and first responders who travelled to New York to help in the aftermath of 911, over 40,000 Canadian Armed Forces troops were deployed to Afghanistan between 2001 and 2014. 159 Canadian soldiers lost their lives in Afghanistan and more than 2,000 returned home wounded. Tell them they were on the sidelines! UK Prime Minister has called Trump out and rightly so. The British forces suffered 456 fatalities and 2,188 wounded in action. That didn’t happen a little off the front lines. Plus, with all of Trump’s envy of Royalty, does he even know that most British Royals serve in the military? Only Prince Harry served in Afghanistan, but his family have all served in other wars, while neither Donald Trump nor any of his family have served in the military. Donald has ‘ducked’ service three times.

So, where would Donald ‘Duck’ get this idea from? Neither Vance nor Hegseth saw battle in Afghanistan. Pete Hegseth was in Afghanistan as a trainer. Methinks Donald Duck was told of the American casualties during the war. Yes, the United States lost 2,420 souls during the war – a tragedy. Compared by nation, the U.S. lost more than any one nation. However, if one compares the population of the U.S. to the populations of other NATO countries, the statistics reflect a different perspective. But, Donald Duck’s pea brain isn’t capable of this analysis.

POTUS has definitely gone too far. Is he too far gone? Is it merely the combination of lack of intelligence and a narcissistic personality that causes his outbreaks? There is so much contrary evidence:

  • Incoherent speech and making up words.
  • He uses wrong words. Example – Iceland instead of Greenland at Davos.
  • He switches topics midstream. We’ve all seen it, but the one that I was most surprised at was the video of when he was recently meeting with oil company executives and suddenly arose from the table to brag about his new East Wing.
  • He lies. Not once in a while, but all the time! And his lying behaviour has spread through his administration.
  • He’s speaking and acting as an emotional reaction rather than fact and logical analysis.

Donald J. Trump, President of the United States, has both gone too far and is too far gone. He is not mentally capable of leading any country, let alone one of the world’s powerhouses. He’s not even capable of understanding that he’s gone too far. There’s no sense in asking for apologies. Congress, American people, anyone: Can you not see this? Are you not capable of stopping him before he does more damage?

Canada’s Prime Minister gets Rare Standing Ovation at World Forum

For those of you who might not have had the opportunity to hear Mark Carney’s quiet yet deliberate eloquence, a fellow Canadian blogger has offered us the entire speech. Well worth the read.

Brilliant

I have never been so thankful for our leadership and so proud to be Canadian. No speech writers here – this is our leader at his best.

True North Strong and Free!

Canada says “Hands Off Greenland!”

Note to readers: When I published this I didn’t know that in 1917 Denmark sold its Caribbean islands to the United States – renamed the U.S. Virgin Islands. As part of the treaty, U.S. recognized Denmark’s sovereignty over Greenland.

Donald Trump has such an inflated sense of self intelligence and importance he thinks he’s pulling the wool over our eyes. Trump orchestrates the arrest of Venezuela’s President on drug charges claiming it’s to protect Americans. Nonsense. It was really to gain access to Venezuela’s oil. Now he wants Greenland to protect the United States from potential Russian aggression. More nonsense. Truthfully, what Trump wants is their treasure of rare earth minerals.

This is no game. It’s been reported that the President of the United States has actually directed the Joint Special Operations Command to draft an invasion plan. An undisclosed source says the generals have said, “It’s like dealing with a five-year-old.” Here’s hoping they learn quickly how to play his game, because that’s all Trump knows.

Trump is a five-year-old. He’s taken to referring to North and South America as “the Western Hemisphere” and doesn’t even realize that much of the U.K. and Europe are actually in the Western Hemisphere. He doesn’t have manners or respect for anyone. He thinks everything is a game. He wants his own way all the time. He doesn’t know politics, history, or geography. He is a five-year-old! If you’ve ever played with a five-year-old you know their attention span is short and when they don’t get their way, they knock down the blocks or kick in the sandcastle.

Greenland isn’t a property on a Monopoly board. It is a territory of the Kingdom of Denmark; ergo a part of NATO. While many Greenlanders support independence from Denmark, they certainly don’t want to be a part of the United States. Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederikson has said, “You do not change borders by force”. Kurt Volker former U.S. Ambassador to NATO claims that if the U.S. takes Greenland by force it will be the end of NATO. Basically, the world is in agreement: Hands off Greenland!

Greenland and Canada have experienced a long, positive relationship. They are both members of the Artic Council and both rely on indigenous peoples for their input concerning maintenance and protection of the north. Greenland shares a border with Canadian territory Nunavut. There was a long and lighthearted dispute between the ownership of Hans Island yet Denmark and Canada amicably agreed to split it. Greenlanders are Inuit (90% of the 56,000 population) and Canada has over 70,000 Inuit. Canada’s esteemed Governor General, Her Excellency the Right Honourable Mary Simon, is of Inuit decent and has extensive experience in artic affairs. She also happens to be the Commander-in-Chief of Canada’s Armed Forces. To strengthen the ties between Canada and Greenland, the former is opening a Canadian consulate in the latter’s capital city Nuuk.

While Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney is taking action on several levels to protect our northern borders, Donald Trump is still playing games – mouthing off at every chance he gets. “We are going to do something on Greenland whether they like it or not”, “If we don’t take Greenland, Russia or China will”, and “The fact that they had a boat land there 500 years ago doesn’t mean they own the land.” Really? No, Denmark and Norway colonized Greenland in the 1700s and acquired the land through the Treaty of Kiel. By today’s standards, Denmark ‘owns’ the land. Morally, perhaps we should consider the Innuit ‘own’ the land. Either way, as Mark Carney has said, “The future of Greenland is for Greenland and Denmark to determine.” Ah, the adult in the room.

Back off, Donald Trump. Hands off Greenland! You cannot acquire, annex, take, purchase or occupy Greenland. NATO won’t let you.