Life Skills Needed in Schools

I was first exposed to the concept of “Life Skills” in the late 80s. An human resources professional, I had been laid off from a company that was downsizing and took a government-sponsored job search workshop. Hired right out of college in the early 70s, I had never had to actually look for a job. So, what could it hurt? Once again, I didn’t have to look for a job because the workshop leader took an immediate liking to me and referred me to a local community college where another government-sponsored program was helping employment-disadvantaged youth enter or re-enter the workforce. The name of the Ontario Liberal program was “Futures”. It was an excellent 16 weeks of classroom life skills, resume writing, and job search methods as well as one-on-one counselling followed by and additional 16 week job placement where the government paid half the salary. The success rate was good, but change in local government removed the funding and the program died.

While the concept originated earlier, Life Skills Training became popular in Ontario in the 70s first at the YWCA, then community colleges and the YMCA. In the late 80s I found myself sitting across from a somewhat crochety older man who gave me a binder of life skills topics and lessons to quickly review. The topics were things like personal hygiene, decision making, expressing empathy, and anger management. He then asked, “Based your background in office management and human resources, do you think you could write some that were more geared toward the workplace?” Game on. I replied, “Absolutely!” And so I was hired as a teacher/counsellor who wrote general workplace-oriented life skills lessons on an old typewriter in an empty room in the basement and once they were approved by the manager, would then teach the lesson. After the term, as I was part-time (what the colleges used to refer to as partial-load), I found a new Futures Program gig at a YMCA; then another at Centennial College, and one at Seneca and then Sheridan. Doing the short-term rounds in the Greater Toronto Area kept me gainfully employed for 5 years before I returned to the private sector. There were several teachers who did the same, and we’d periodically meet up at different workplaces sharing new Life Skills Lessons.

And, of course, while sharing we also shared our theories on which ones were best, why they were needed, reactions from the clientele (16 through 24 year-olds) who were “employment disadvantaged”. What does that mean? Well, there were a number of categories and the physical numbers depended on the geographical area and by whom they were referred. At one location, it seemed most of them were immigrants who had taken and ESL course at the same location. At another location it seemed most of the participants were one step away from prison – in fact a couple had been referred by a judge, as in either you complete the Futures Program or you go to jail. At another, it seemed that each kid was just really poor. It didn’t seem to matter what the reason, we all believed they just weren’t getting the parenting they needed.

Every now and then the topic of Life Skills comes up on the news or social media and I wonder, “Why don’t they teach them in high school?” Sigh. Yesterday, was municipal voting day where I live in Windsor, Ontario. At the pole, a young man who was clearly voting for the first time, while staring at his ballot, asked the pole worker, “Is there no information available about these candidates?” He didn’t know the process! She replied, “No, you’re supposed to do your own research before you come to the poll. You can sit down over there and look them up on your phone.” Ouch. I felt uncomfortable for both of them. First, he should have known that he needed to research the candidates and at the polling stations everyone needs to be unbiased and are not allowed to discuss any of them. Second, she should have been a little more detailed and explained that it’s the law. The way she said it was almost condescending. What an excellent Life Skills Lesson Plan: How to research political candidates and how to vote.

I’m planning on sending this to the local school board trustees who won here in Windsor yesterday. Maybe someone will pick up the quest to add Life Skills to the curriculum, because today parents are not teaching kids this stuff like our parents did.

I Still Feel the Same

I wrote and posted this 7 years ago. Since then my abuser has passed away and rather than feel any sorrow I felt immense relief. No longer a victim, I am a survivor. One day, I hope to be a warrior too.

Shine The Light On Woman Abuse

Hey, U.S.A! We’re NOT the bad guys!

I have not read The Art of the Deal, nor will I ever. I used to teach sales, but I taught relationship building, tending a client’s needs and offering services not readily available elsewhere. What has occurred between Canada and the United States over the last several months and, in particular, several days cannot be referred to as ‘negotiation’.

Canada-USA negotiations fail
Negotiations fail

Canadians know what happened. Mark Carney keeps his cards close to his chest, but when he speaks he tells the truth. Our Canadian team negotiated in good faith and were willing to make concessions with which they knew Canadians wouldn’t be happy. For months and weeks they reported progression moving toward a deal. Then in the literal and figurative eleventh hour, the final offer put forward by the U.S. representatives included surprise items they knew were unacceptable to Canada. Who does that? It’s almost like a U.S. mastermind was thinking, “Hmm…how can we get Canada to walk away and make it look like they’re the bad guys?”

It’s now public knowledge that excluding trucks from the auto deal, requests to minimize French (language and culture) and finally efforts to restrict our other trade deals where the three specific unacceptable areas that the U.S. team put forward. Each of those is disturbing with the latter two being insulting. Collectively, along with the manner in which they were presented, led Mark Carney to tell his team to return home. I have never been more proud to be Canadian and more proud of our Prime Minister. And, every Premier (for those of you in the U.S., that’s the equivalent to a Governor) supports walking away from the table. We are united and we stand strong. True North, Strong and Free.

I’m sorry to the people of the United States. We know that many, hopefully most, of you don’t agree with these tactics and in fact don’t agree with Trump at all. But, this is not longer merely Elbows Up. Now, it’s Gloves Off! Canadians know in the short term this is going to be financially rough. We’re not only sticking to ‘not buying anything made in the U.S.A.’ but we’re finding new trading partners worldwide. We also know, that Canada can be self-sufficient. We’ve got the raw materials and the ‘know how’. As Ontario’s Premier Doug Ford said, “We didn’t start this war, but we will win it”.

For the last two years, personally, it’s mostly been about groceries, liquor, pharmaceuticals, cosmetics and refusing to cross the border. It’s almost a game now. I’ve spent hours reading labels to make sure I buy Canadian; or buying produce from Mexico or South Africa. I don’t know, though, how I’m going to give up on the clothing. My favourites Oh My Gauze!, Lands’ End and Skechers are going on hold until the U.S.A. smartens up. That is going to be a sacrifice for me.

Trump says, “Canada wants the benefits of being a state without being one”. He is so out in left field. He wants to treat Canada like it is a State! NO. With your leadership’s lack of intelligence or scruples we don’t want to be a State. Neither he nor his followers pick up on the undertones of Mark Carney’s words and actions. Some Canadians are hoping both sides come back to the table. Others are hoping we’ve taught Trump a lesson. Is he smart enough to learn? This Canadian thinks not.

Trump, Wildfires and Tariffs…

My heartfelt sympathies go out to most Americans who, still our friends, are embarrassed by the actions and words of their current leader. I was going to write something about his distorted comments and complete misrepresentation about fire, weather, forests, tariffs; but then I realized my anger and frustration would bleed into my words. So, I decided this would be better. Here are the words of two sane Americans: Jill Dennison, a wonderful blogger whom I’ve followed for years; and Robert Reich, former U.S. Secretary of Labor.

I’m So Sorry, My Canadian Friends …

Over-the-Top Anger

Have you ever witnessed someone get extremely angry over something that seemed trivial?  Anger that’s expressed at a level 10, but the issue is only a 2.  I remember driving in downtown Toronto many years ago with my boss on a way to a client appointment.  Some guy in the next lane was honking his car horn, turning red in the face, banging on his steering wheel and yelling curse words at the driver in front of him.  My boss sighed and calmly said, “What a shame that man lives with his anger so close to the surface that he reacts that way to something he can’t control”.  That stuck with me.

Angry woman yelling and pointing fingers at someone
Over-the-top anger

This was back in the 1990s when call centres were emerging. With degrees in psychology and business, my boss started a consulting firm that focused on teaching high level sales and customer service over the phone.  One of our tools was a communication model that included various stress reactions and how to deal with them.  Because I had to teach it, I needed to become an expert in recognizing and dealing with stress reactions.  For our purposes, it was only necessary to counter the behaviour with response to effectively handle a customer.  But of course, I wanted to know more about why people behave in this manner and what could be done to alleviate their stress.

What I discovered through those years was that in most situations the root cause of the stress and resulting anger was some unresolved issue that, in some cases, had little to nothing to do with the situation at hand.  Sometimes there was a connection, sometimes there wasn’t.  For example, that angry driver in Toronto could have been late for an appointment, or had an argument with his wife, or perhaps the bank had just turned down a loan application.  But the driver in front of him was not the cause of his emotional explosion.

Problems arise every day in normal life.  If we don’t solve them, human nature (especially for overthinkers) will steer us toward replaying the scenario repeatedly.  “What could I have done differently?” “Why does she treat me like that?” “Next time I see him I’m going to give him a piece of my mind!” This persistent worry consumes our mental and emotional energy.  It can get in the way of relationships, prey on one’s mind, prevent sleep and spill over into everyday life.  It’s unhealthy.

Some people try to bury the unresolved issue, thinking they’ll “let it go” or “get over it” and “move on”.  This rarely works well.  In my experience, I’ve seen unresolved issues resurface years later, and typically not in ways one would expect.  Go back and try to resolve the issue.  Communicate with other parties involved.  Ask for or give forgiveness.  If that’s not possible, talk to a therapist, counsellor, pastor, rabi, priest, a friend.

We’re all on a journey and learning along the way.  Some of us learn early and some learn later in life.  I was lucky to have some great mentors.  Not everyone has had that opportunity.  The best advice is to get angry about the things that matter – not things that happened in the past.  Life is so much easier when one has learned to live in the present and future.

Peace

On Letting Go ‘revived’

I came across this blog from 7 years ago today. I still think so many people carry unresolved issues around with them that affect their behaviour. More about that soon, but for now, here’s a refresher thought.

On Letting Go

Unsung Heroes

Horrible storms have been playing havoc in the last several weeks all over North America. Thankfully, most of the snow and rain has somehow overlooked our little safe haven in Southern Ontario, but we have been hit by high winds. Over the weekend, wind gusts over 110km (about 70 miles an hour) damaged a 40-foot tree in the backyard two houses south of us. The tree took out power lines from the power pole to one house.

Three power company trucks were there within minutes of the call. They turned the power off for one side of the street at 8:00 p.m. so they could chop down the tree. Under their powerful lights, we watched in the dark as they perilously chopped branches from the bucket in dangerous winds. They worked for hours. They worked hard. Then at about 10:30 they left. Still no power. I called power company, who explained the crew had worked for 16 hours and had to stop, but a new crew would be out soon to restore power. And they did. The power came back on at about 12:30 a.m.

We don’t often think of the men and women who work hard to keep our lights, heat, fridges and freezers running. And we certainly don’t often realize the dangers they face. I spent most of my life working in an office and have never given much thought to the men and women who keep our systems running. It’s not just hydro workers – it’s electricians, plumbers, road workers, snow removal people, builders, carpenters, heating ventilation and air conditioning, concrete workers.

Especially considering climate change, we will need these people more than ever. Thank you to all who work to keep our lives functional. Kudos to the hydro workers and all the teams in the various trades! We appreciate you.

The Honourable Rosalie Silberman Abella

Canada has their own RBG. In fact, Ruth Bader Ginsburg referred to Rosalie Silberman Abella as her ‘dearest sister-in-law’. While their careers and accomplishments mirror each other, in my opinion, the latter had a greater effect on their country’s laws. On this International Women’s Day, I wonder why the world, particularly women’s rights followers and activists, know of Ginsburg but not so many of Abella.

Canada’s population is only about 12% of the United States. More people generate more money, more business, more news stations, more international media coverage, and thus celebrity. Plus, there are many differences between the Canadian and American Supreme Courts. First, the Supreme Court of Canada (SCC) presides over all legal matters in Canada – federal, provincial and private – whereas because the United States has two separate legal systems, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) deals with constitutional and federal law. Second, while appointment, tenure and other issues are different; the main difference from the outside looking in is how political SCOTUS and that’s likely the main reason there’s more media coverage. The Supreme Court of Canada is more low-profile. Sigh. Just like Canadians!

Credit: Veasey Conway/Harvard Staff Photographer

Back to the Honourable Rosalie Silberman Abella and paying homage to her on this International Women’s Day. I first became aware of this amazing woman by watching a documentary a couple of years ago. I was enthralled by her personality. She is charming, witty, warm and natural. I loved her relationship with her husband. I was impressed by the barriers she broke through. And, I wanted to be her friend. Learning more about her, I can honestly say she is one of my very few heroes.

With her parents surviving the Holocaust, Rosalie Silberman was born in a Displaced Persons Camp in Germany in 1946. Her father was a lawyer, but because her family were refugees to Canada in 1950 and therefore not a citizen, he wasn’t permitted to practice law; so at a very early age, Rosalie vowed to become a lawyer. At age 29, she was the youngest judge in Canada, the first Jewish woman and first pregnant woman to be appointed to the judiciary. She was a member of SCC from 2004 through 2021 when she turned 75 years of age.

The impact on Canadian law to which I referred earlier? In 1984, she spearheaded the Royal Commission on Equality in Employment. In that report, she introduced the term “employment equity”, developing a strategy for reducing barriers confronting women, minorities, people with disabilities, and Indigenous people. The report created the groundwork for equality rights in Canada. In 1989, The Supreme Court of Canada adopted her theories concerning equality and discrimination in its first case on equality rights under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. She influenced the Canadian Chart regarding equal rights and human rights, including extending benefits to same-sex couples. Ms. Abella was and is a trailblazer!

On December 31, 2025, Abella was awarded the Companion of the Order of Canada, the highest level of recognition for outstanding achievement. She is currently a visiting Professor of Law at Harvard Law School and Senior Research Scholar at Yale Law School.

On this International Women’s Day, I hope that little girls all over the world will learn about this woman. No glass ceilings for this champion!

‘No More’ Isn’t Enough!

This week is “No More Week” from March 2 through 8 ending to coincide with International Women’s Day. While “No More” began about male violence about women, it is about shedding a light on domestic abuse and sexual violence.

It’s been almost 12 years since I left my abuser of 22 years. Twenty-two years? you say. At first the abuse was minor controlling behaviours that appeared after several years of marriage. I didn’t notice it at first. Then I wrote it off as side effects of mental illness. For years I was unaware that the criticism and control crept slowly into how I spoke and dressed and finally into who I spent time with and eventually finances. None of it was physical until one violent night – and that was the last night I spent with my abuser.

Domestic violence had never been on my radar. My circle of friends never spoke of it, and I didn’t know anyone who had been abused. Until 12 years ago, I thought domestic abuse/violence was something that occurred in troubled social settings: low income families, people with a drug history, etc. Never did it occur to me that it might also be common in the working, middle or upper classes. A working professional and daughter of an architect, and stepmom to three wonderful young men, I never considered our family dysfunctional. I was too busy to pay attention. Today, still ashamed of my prior ‘blind eye’, I am keenly aware. It’s like I have supercharged antennae that sense any male controlling behaviour.

Misogyny is running rampant in the world and it has to stop. Women are no closer to being equal than they were 50 years ago. As a retired professional, I can remember being interrupted by males in a meeting where I was on the same level or even senior to the male. I’ve witnessed ‘mansplaining’. There is still a gender pay gap. These are business examples. Worldwide we are no closer to ending male dominance. Women are not treated as equal. Male dominance has led to girls and women being horribly abused as in continued female genital mutilation and human trafficking. There is some awareness but not enough.

Kudos to a young man named Logan. Everyone has heard about the Epstein catastrophe, but not many outside of Canada have heard of The Guelph Incident that occurred last week in a coffee shop in Guelph, Ontario. Logan saw a man and a young girl and he thought something was fishy. He approached the man, Jonathan Puddle, and asked what his relationship was to the young lady who (to Logan) seemed apprehensive. Jonathan replied that she was his daughter. Logan wasn’t convinced, so he called the police, who posted the pair’s picture online asking for information. After seeing their picture on social media, Jonathan contacted the police. Turns out this was a father/daughter couple and daughter Emmi was just shy and didn’t even hear what Logan had asked. Jonathan explained that he was pleased that if this had indeed been a human trafficking situation that someone was brave and forward enough to act. We need more Logans.

This isn’t a political piece, but I am compelled to remark on the shameful behaviour of Donald Trump. He has demonstrated his dislike, disrespect of women over and over again. The first time I recognized it was during the second Presidential Debate in 2016: the manner in which Trump circled around Hilary Clinton and the expression on his face while she was speaking made my flesh crawl. From that day, until his recent calling a reporter “Piggy” and his lame locker room talk with the male Olympic Hockey Team he has consistently shown his true colours. I find it difficult to understand how any woman could align herself with a sexist. He is a blatant chauvinist pig.

Several years ago, experts tied the connection between domestic violence and adult mass shooters. In Canada, the two most deadly mass attacks – 1989 Ecole Polytechnique Massacre in Montreal and the 2020 Nova Scotia Shootings – both shooters had domestic violence in their backgrounds. In the United States, James Densley and Jillian Peterson, founders of the Violence Prevention Project have studied mass shootings for 10 years and on the recent piece on 60 Minutes say the commonality of school shootings is the background of domestic violence.

“No More’ isn’t enough! The No More Ads should be on television and social media more frequently. We should all be like Guelph’s Logan who saw something and acted. We don’t have to interject like he did, but we can observe and report suspicious activity. We can contact our local schools and ask what mental health support they have in place. We can contact our local support groups and ask how to help.

Olympic Afterthoughts

Canadian flag-bearers Mikaël Kingsbury and Marielle Thompson lead Team Canada into the opening ceremonies to officially start the Milano Cortina 2026 Olympic Winter Games in Italy on Friday, February 06, 2026. Photo by Mark Blinch/COC *MANDATORY CREDIT*

It’s over for another 4 years. The Milano Cortina Olympic Games 2026 were wonderful to watch and I can only imagine how participants feel. Canada is proud of all our athletes and those who support them.

No matter how one looks at it, Norway comes out on top. Congratulations to Norway! Whether it’s gold medals or medals per capita, Canada ranks 11th, but if one looks at medals for total medals, Canada ranked 8th – not too shabby. I think per capita, however, is key. The pool from which the country has to draw talent, the available money to support the athletes, the facilities available in the athletes can train, and so much more affects the final Olympic Team. So special congratulations to most countries in Europe for ranking in the top 10 on the per capita list: Norway, Switzerland, Austria, Slovenia, Sweden, Netherlands, Latvia, Finland, Estonia, and New Zealand. Where did the United States rank in the list of medals per capita? 23rd – Yup. No comment.

Another perspective from which to view the medal winners (and I’ll admit I just learned this from my research) is the payouts some athletes receive from their representative countries for winning a gold medal. Apparently, Italy will pay out $7,757,000, $213,000 to each gold medalist; United States $3,022,500, $37,500 to each; Switzerland $1,512,000, $64,000 to each; and Poland $1,238,000, $355,000 to each. Who knew? Apparently Canada also pays gold medal winners: $915,000, $15,000 to each. In Canada there’s a push for the government to better support the up and coming athletes in future. I would rather see the pre-Olympic support than the post-Olympic reward. Wouldn’t that be more in the Olympic spirit?

The Olympic spirit is all about solidarity and fair play. One of the key drivers is to build a better world through friendship and peace. Ideally, the Olympics would be apolitical, but historically with world bad actors that just isn’t possible. I thought the following perfectly depicted how the world felt last weekend:

Screenshot

I’m not going to criticize the officiating or whine about missed opportunities. I will, however, give kudos to Conner Kellebuyck who miraculously fended of 41 shots on goal. It was amazing! However, for Felon Trump to award a hockey player the Presidential Medal of Freedom was a shocker. Really? I’ve understood past rationale for people like Simone Biles who was an outspoken activist in her sport as well as an accomplished athlete, but this didn’t hit the mark for me.

I am more impressed with the 5 members of the U.S. hockey team and the entire women’s hockey team who refused to attend the State of the Union Address last night. Your actions speak loudly across the world. Congratulations.

All Canadian athletes can stand proudly.